Hi all! I'm back again! I guessed I've grown to like blogging. It's a tool for me to write down my thoughts so that I can keep reminding myself what God has done for me. It's wonderful, and it's totally amazing what God has done for me this whole year.
I guess I need to clear the air of a question which most people will ask whenever they see me in church. Just yesterday alone, I was asked the question more than 4 times. A lot of people has been asking why I've not been singing on stage, or they'll see me and thought I was singing for the services. Well, if you asked me a month ago, my answer would have been, I don't know how to explain. I'm just not singing. Why? I do not know. However, now I have the confidence to answer the question! I have not been singing ever since I came back from Israel. It was a long 6 months' break. It was a terrible wait, not knowing if I'm still considered to be in the ministry. There was so much uncertainty and doubt within me. I've been left on the shelf because Sis Belle feels that I need to build up on my spiritual capacity. God knows I have to build my walk right with Him first before bringing me back. It was a humbling process. She conducted a few practices for a few of us and reminded us of the Potter and the clay story. Indeed, we are the clay that God is moulding. Whenever God feels that we are not in good shape, He'll put us through the burning furnance to purify us and to mould us into shape. However, when that is done and something is still not quite right, He'll leave us on the shelf. That's the humbling process. A time to develop patience and to keep trusting and believing that He is with us and will use us one day. Many times, it is when we let go of ourselves and say that God, I leave everything into your hands, that God will begin to take us off the shelf to use us. I can testify of this.
I can still remember the time when I went for my 1st choir audition. I was a little nervous. Everything was alright until I stepped out of my house to go for the audition. I started to sneeze and had a very bad flu. My nose was blocked and my countenance was very very bad. I failed the audition. It was a very disheartening moment because I know that's what I like to do and what God wants me to do. I couldn't understand why all that happened. It was a time of knowing that God has His perfect timing for everything to happen. It was also a time that God wants to know if I'm really willing to sing for Him no matter what happens and whether I can keep trusting that this is His calling for me. To cut the long story short, I was very sure this is what God has called me to do. So I went for my 2nd audition about 1 year later with a heart of knowing that if it's God's timing, I'll get in. I just let go of myself and let God do whatever that is pleasing to Him. True enough, that was His timing and I got in. Miraculously, I got into the BV ministry in the next 6 months. Why is it miraculous? Well, at that time there was a "rule" that said I had to be in choir for at least a year before I qualify to go for the BV audition. All and all, God is just great! It is great to know that everything will just go according to the will of God and His timing.
It is a wonderful journey living as a Christian. A journey of letting go of ourselves and lifting everything up to Him. Bit by bit I learned and leaps by leaps I move. After all the long introduction, I'm coming to my main point. I thank God that after being left on the shelf for so long, He is still my faithful God who will never let me down. After the practices with Sis Belle, there will be 2 outcomes. 1: Remain in BV ministry. 2: Go back to Choir ministry. I called Sis Belle yesterday and was assured that I'm still in the BV ministry. Actually I don't mind serving in choir as well because I'll still be singing for Him. However, I was excited because I know in can impact MORE lives when I sing as a BV. So I'll be back on stage again next year. 2004 is coming to an end. And I believe it's gonna end with a BIG BANG!
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